Hash Burger Cold Cure Live Rosin by Moon Valley
93 Points
Woody's Headstash release party was something special. The Woods in West Hollywood is one of my favorite places ever—it exists somewhere in an alternate dimension where dispensaries are free of the insane financial burdens facing most owners of shops and consumption spaces. Most Budist gatherings I’ve attended have had me behind the lens of my phone capturing lifestyle video, but for this one I chose to relax and actually talk to people for once. One of these people was Ernie, a fellow budist you may know as @extract_reviewer who I’ve been wanting to meet for a while now. He was sharing dabs of Moon Valley and Nasha in the cabana reserved for concentrates, and I was sure to stop in and try every flavor. I was happy to see Moon Valley on the table—in my opinion one of the strongest brands on the rec market. I was also happy to see Nasha leveling up their cold cure offering and get a chat in with them!
Moon Valley is a living soil indoor operation headed by Eli, someone I’m happy to call a friend after having met a few times at Budist gatherings over the past 2 years. He’s a true living soil nerd—get him going about “implements” and improvising in an indoor space and he will quickly reveal a huge breadth of experience in living soil cultivation techniques. One of the few people I’ve talked to in cannabis that is so knowledgeable it makes my head spin (Marcus a.k.a. Bubbleman being another one).
This review will cover the Hash Burger rosin..and I was going into this with high expectations based on my experiences with the Blue Andeze, their MJBowl contest entry, which I also rated very highly. The box is pretty cool, a dense flip top with embossed flower of life patterning and yellow on black color accents. It pops open to reveal a DEM certified logo seal. A quick look into what this means reveals a stringent set of rules on both gardening practices and general ethics as a business owner and cannabis cultivator. I’m not shocked to see that energetically the list of requirements falls directly in line with the kinds of things that Eli preaches! And of course.. it’s all good things that I can’t help but agree with.. except maybe the hard line on hydrocarbons.
I am no stranger to the Hash Burger terpene profile. It takes the garlicky, mushroom funk of the GMO and bends it to a more savory, meaty profile with the addition of the Donnie Burger. It’s not quite the meat breath terps from back in the day, but it is a unique animal for sure. The cold cure still has a decent amount of moisture in it, something that can be difficult to maintain in retail environments. A quick stir has it back to a nice wet state, ready for photos and ravenous consumption. One thing I’m noting is the odor transparency; there is no hollow bitterness from chemicals or inert medium source material, instead a rich full bodied smell that indicates a very clean growing process. Having read the stipulations for that certification, I know I am not tripping (but I might be after a few rips of having smoked only cheap solvents for a few weeks straight).
Sure enough, the flavor when it hits my nail is just like the nose but even more savory, even MORE MEATY *slams fork and knife on table*. Another thing that rocks about this one is it tastes like it was grown to term. A lot of cultivators have opted towards an earlier chop for a brighter product at the cost of terpene profile (and therefore, perceived effect), something this reviewer has absolutely noticed over the years. This is legitimately the best Hash Burger rosin I have tried, and I have had a fair bit! Hats off to Eli and the team. I saw a video recently where they were chopping down some kind of huge symbiotic palm tree looking plant from their living soil garden, a beautiful and extremely tidy grown environment if I’ve ever seen one. It’s almost like each grow tray is a little living soil terrarium, but you can tell the guy growing it isn’t some lazy hippie, he is absolutely dialed in. The fact this product isn’t super expensive and also isn’t full spectrum to cut corners makes it a no brainer for anyone who hasn’t tried it.
The effects are hybrid leaning but a few tokes out of the Puffco has my eyes squinted shut. Definitely experiencing a bit of couch lock in the computer chair as I start up a new playthrough of Divinity Original Sin 2 with my gaming buddies. The colors on my new HDR monitor are extra vibrant. The munchies follow soon thereafter..making some trash food and a few Stranger Things episodes the next chapter as sleep looms closer and closer. An evening dab for sure, but not so sedating that I would put it in the “knockout” category.
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